Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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