I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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