I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
