Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
