dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
