Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
