I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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