Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
