i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
