god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
