Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
