Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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