She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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