I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
