i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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