So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
