very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
