I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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