I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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