if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
