idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
