hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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