The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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