butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
