we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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