Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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