your parents love me but you hate me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
