dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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