Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
