i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
