Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
soo... how was my night?
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