He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
