drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you didnt know i had herpes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
