SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You can't special order awesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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