I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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