I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
