Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
