Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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