i was born a porn star she said
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
