I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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