Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
