I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize