I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
