That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My ass is underappreciated
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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