He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
