Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
