He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My balls are so social today.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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