Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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