OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
