Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
