dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
